To stay or not to stay... that is the question

While I'm at home with a sick baby (whose not actually sick, but the babysitter's kid is sick so we're pretending my baby is sick) I've remembered what it was like to be a "stay-at-home" mom. After Chloe was born, I was home with her for 6 months. I worked occasionly at the local pizza and pub, but it was usually the evening shift when she was sleeping anyway.

E (man-friend) asked me last night what my plan was to do if the school I work at was to close down next year and I didn't have a place to go teach. (Not a completely out of the question question - the district is going through a thorough study of the buildings at the time)

"Would you like to stay home with Chloe? ...if I could make enough money."

"I don't think we could afford that."

"I could make it work. Would you?"

Here's where I'm torn. I loved seeing all of the little things Chloe was learning while I was home with her for the first 6 months, and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. But... I was bored a lot. Granted, she slept like a billion hours a day then and I was recuperating from pushing a 6 lb baby out of my body so I had no energy to do anything around the house, but I was dying to get out of the house by the time E got home.

Pros:
*spending every day with Chloe and witnessing ALL of the little milestones she'll be reaching.
*never worrying about 'the babysitter's sick, who the &$*#'s going to watch her"
*having time to do errands and pick up the house (and I'm not going to lie, since working, the housework's the first thing to go out the window) (any maids reading this? Will offer great hugs and so-so dinners for weekly house cleaning!)

Not so Pros:
*little/no adult interaction during most days
(there's always the mommy play groups, but we live in BFE and there are none)
*no money of my own (that I can not feel guilty spending at the grocery store for impulse buys or buying new shoes that E does not approve of) (p.s. most of my shoes aren't not approved by E - "where are you going to wear them and what about the other 300 pair in the BACK ROOM SHOE CLOSET) (and yes, I have converted our back bedroom into my shoe closet, jealous?)
*not spending time with E in the evenings because I'm sure his 'way of making it work' would be to get another job or freelance web design (and I'm not very good at leaving him alone to work if he's at home. Hello, he's right there..."Hi! Pay attention to me please!"

I'm glad I don't have to make this decision anytime soon... and here's to hoping I don't have to make this decision at all. Someone must want me to teach in their school!!

Hugs!